New Rules…

From time to time I feel that we ( humanity in general, and writers specifically) need some new rules to live by. (yer okay I am totally borrowing this concept from elsewhere). Occasionally I just need to get them out of my system as well…

Here are some recent ‘new rules’ that have occurred to me…

New Rule#1. The Bush Rule. War’s are no longer to be conducted against verbs, if you are declaring a war, it has to be against a noun…

New Rule#2. The May Rule. Leaders of political parties must never be seen dancing, including but not exclusively, up to the podium before making a speech…

New Rule#3. The Hipster Rule. No one is allowed Chinese character tattoos unless they have verified first what the characters mean with someone who actually speaks Chinese:

New Rule#4. The Specific Case I Know Of Rule.  Having ‘Beef noodle soup’ tattooed on your back (in Chinese characters) is not an expression of your spirituality.

New Rule#5. The Hemmingway Rule. If you would never use the word as part of your normal vocabulary, don’t use it when you write.


New Rule#6. The EL James Rule. If you don’t actually have a vocabulary don’t write till you develop one.

New Rule#6. The Dan Brown Rule. When the villain shows up a third of the way into a novel don’t hang a  large sound around ethre neck saying ‘I am the villain, look at me’, and expect people not to notice.

New Rule#7. The Megan Harry Rule. A woman getting pregnant to her husband six months after they got married does not constitute a major international news story.

New Rule#8. The Internet Reviewer Rule. No opinions on the quality or worth of a movie should be expressed in any way until it has actually been released.

New Rule#9. The Ghostbusters rule. Remaking a movie classic with a new twist is not destroying your childhood, get over yourselves.

New Rule#10. The Doctor Rule. Two hearted Aliens from another world who travel throughout time and space and periodically regenerate into occasionally older, more Scottish, version of themselves, can also regenerate as a female alien with a Yorkshire accent. again get over yourselves.

download (7)

New Rule#11. Your Opinion Rule. You’re entitled to have one at odds to my own, but I am entitled to mock it, if its is rediclous…

New Rule#12. The New Rule, Rule. All new rules are subject to revision, the rules can and will change, except the ones about Doctor Who as Jodie Whittaker’s doctor has been frankly awesome so far…



About Mark Hayes

Writer A messy, complicated sort of entity. Quantum Pagan. Occasional weregoth Knows where his spoon is, do you? #author #steampunk
This entry was posted in amwriting, errol the bookcase dragon, goodnews, goodreads, humour, opinion, quotes, rant, sci-fi and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

1 Response to New Rules…

  1. “New Rule#5. The Hemmingway Rule. If you would never use the word as part of your normal vocabulary, don’t use it when you write.”

    I like this one, partly because it implies a corollary that if you do use a word as part of your normal vocabulary, it’s not pretentious or ‘purple prose’ to use it in your writing.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s