Earlier this week the wisest of all muses asked a deep and meaningful question upon her blog to which I responded with somewhat frivolous delight or at least that was my intent.

This is the original post, by Nimue Brown, which is probably far more insightful than the rest of this one is going to be, so you should probably stop reading my inane waffling on and go read her deep insightfulness instead https://druidlife.wordpress.com/2024/12/13/considering-meditation-and-thoughts/

This is to say her question was both interesting and asked in seriousness on the subject of a thoughtful post on meditation and thoughts. Not least on how her own thought processes worked and asking if others experienced thoughts the same way. My response was written in an off the cuff manner expressing an idealized metaphor for how I think my own mind works. Of course this is me thinking about how my mind thinks.

Thinking about, and trying to understand, how you think is a bit like trying to understand the universe from within it standing on a small blue green planet on an unremarkable spiral arm of a not very remarkable galaxy only able to perceive the visible expanse of a universe, the mass of which our calculations show we can not detect 90% of.

Here is another analogy of which I am fond, when it comes to mankind’s understanding of divinity and the true extent of the cosmos is the ant in the rain forest. Which is to say an ant can not comprehend the truth of forest due to it been insignificantly tiny in comparison to the forest and only able to perceive the merest fraction of the branch of a single tree. Though when it comes to true understanding of the cosmos, we are but a microbe on the back of the ant trying to perceive the ant on which we reside, we have no concept of the forest, thus we can not comprehend in truth that this may be but one of many forests.

Thinking about how we think is both at the heart of the human condition and imposable to truly grasp at the same time. Not least because we are doing so from within our own thoughts. We can not stand outside the universe and look upon it, we can not truly understand the mind from within it. We do not even know what the mind is.

Before you point to the contents of your skull, yes, we know what the brain is. It is an incredibly complex organic interface that processes information fed to it both consciously and unconsciously. If it is damaged it becomes harder to interact with the world, process information, and express thoughts. But none of this means it is where you mind resides. It is merely the interface between mind and body. Science can not more point at the mind than it can the soul. The mind may lay within the chemical, hormonal soup of the brain. It may hover in an undetected dimension of existence a foot and a half in front and slightly to your left, connected to you by a silvery line of thought, unlikely? Possibly but the simple truth is we do not know where the mind resides, so unlikely doesn’t mean impossible and the hovering mind in another dimension theory wonderfully explains many a thing…

Also, when thinking about thinking, I have no idea how anyone else thinks, no one does. Literally on the most basic level none of us have any idea if how we experience the universe bares any true resemblance to how anyone else does. We do not know if everyone sees the colour blue the same way, or indeed if anyone sees the colour blue the same way you do. Our eyes may mostly see wave lengths of light the same way, but this doesn’t mean our brains interpret those wavelengths in the same fashion as anyone else. No one can say, how they think, just as no one can truly say where the mind is. And if we can not say how we think, then we can not know we thinkin similar ways to any one else.

My reply to the question posed by Nimue’s post was to compare my thoughts to the ocean. Some may consider that pretentious of me. But i was not trying to claim my thoughts are deep and mysterious. Often they are shallow and obvious. Show me a goth girl in a tight skirt, corset n boots and my thoughts will almost undoubtedly be shallow and obvious, for a moment at least or two. The metaphor of the ocean has little to do with depth. This though is what I said.

The ocean is never calm, even when the surface seems calm the currents beneath are ever moving changing and washing up against strange shores. So the ocean is never calm, even when it might seem so to others and to be calm is an athame to the ocean. The waters must move, ever change, be they the depths or the shallows, crashing upon the shore, or out passed all horizon. Fed by rivers and seas, pulled by the moon in tides of gravity, while in the deepest places the heat of the earth pushes through mountains.

Then the storms come. The wind, the rain, the great surges, the tempests of chaotic rage that churn and boil the waters, sending them crashing against the land. A deluge of uncontrolled ferocious nature, implacable, untamable, undeniable in its existence.

The ocean is never calm…

Occasionally I think of the ocean, mostly I think like it.

While I like the metaphor the truth is it is only that, a metaphor. In truth I am not sure it truly answers the question, but then I don’t know the answer, I merely know the experience of thinking and how my thoughts shape and turn.

At this moment ‘Hersham boys’ by Sham69 is bouncing around in my head, because its the last song my alarm music played this morning before I got out of bed. Its not really a favorite song of mine but until something dislodges it , it has taken up residence, with its ‘Lace up boots and corduroys’.

Also a this moment there is a conversation going on and leaning towards a conversation edging towards an argument between Kenton West, who sounds like Stephen Fry for some reason, and Eliza Tu-Pa-Ka , who doesn’t, over the qualifications of Captain Wilberforce to serve as Chief officer of the Air ship Maybe’s daughter. Kenton is carefully not answering questions by asking other questions and Eliza is on the verge of a tirade, just as Benjamin Kenton’s grandson, is running up the muddy field to intervene. That particular conversation has been going on for three days. And the word document it has not been written into is sat open on my desktop.

Also at the moment I am annoyed about the people who live next door whom’s teenage son need a clip round his ear to stop him throwing stuff into my back garden. This is low level anger that will explode at some point, or not.

Also, I am getting flashing of scenes from the web series I was watching last night, made by a bunch of New Zealanders 7 years ago, based on PUBG a game I have never played but have developed a deep understanding of. All hail pan man… And thinking I must message my adult son and mention it to him as he will love it.

Also Nimue just sent a message about her plans to do terrible things to me at Christmas, which I am assuming she means in her murder village novel in which I am cast as villain and victim. So I am thinking of replying.

Also at this moment thinking while writing this blog , and at work watching emails , trying to understand what the guy in the office on the sub-continent wants me to do with a server given his very vague instructions. Thinking about the face of my ex-wife for some reason, possibly because my son came to mind and thus my daughter.

Also I want coffee. While I contemplate the greater essence of human consciousness, and the contact I need to sign but am oddly scared to, to write a book about Lovecraft. the worry about the current edit of the Mandrake novel I am waiting back on. Why wearing lace up boots and corduroys would make people call you ‘the Cockney Cowboys?’. Is the second maybe book narrative two slow. Do I really need Kenton West in the novel at all. Why am I writing this blog post, what is it actually about. Is the universe finite. What colour is blue if its not blue. Why does WordPress insist on spell checking to American spellings. ‘Hersham boys’ ‘Hersham boys’ Cute goth girls in tight skirts n corsets. Is there a point to any of this? What point was I making again ? erm… oh yes…

The ocean is never calm…