Occasionally when you write you are asked if you would like to write something specific for an extended project. Something outside the realms of the norm. Such invites are always gratifying, sometimes lead to other things, and tend to be interesting challenges. They also tend to come with the proviso that their is no money in it, but then since when did I write for the money…

I generally say yes, not least because it is nice to be asked.

I also, almost without fail, then forget about it until the last minute, then panic… It’s call a process. Last minute blind panic is mine… Which is why comes the Apocalypse I’m probably not going to survive very long. No one could ever accuse me of being prepared, or the cavalry sabre mounted above the telly would have a live blade, and I would have more tinned goods in the house. I’d also have a tin opener on my key chain as well as the bottle opener that is always there.

Side note: I once wrote a novel about the importance of tin-openers…

Actually that’s not entirely true, I wrote a novel about two people who were lost to, and broken by, a society they fled, finding solace and understanding in each other. It was in effect a tragic romance doomed at it’s inception, which spent much time on the matter of sharing silences and talking of stars, and love, loss, grief and horror. As well as coping with the worst things the world can throw at you by withdrawing both from yourself and away from the world…

It also featured a chapter of sorts on the importance of tin-openers.

Cider Lane, the novel in question , won awards and everything. I rarely mention it, as its neither steampunk, Lovecraft or scifi. But the rule about tin-openers would extend to the apocalypse, and to get back on track the apocalypse was what i was asked to write about…

The specific Apocalypse my friend, editor and occasional wrangler of writers C G Hatton roped me in to write about was a Lovecraft inspired one. My brief was more or less that in fact…

‘Can you write a short story about a Lovecraft inspired apocalypse in Teesside.’

Now for those who are unaware Teesside is a region on the north east coast of the UK, famous among other things for inspiring the opening to Blade-runner. This is because of the large ICI plant, with its large flaming towers that framed the skyline… This is to say there are parts of Teesside that have something in common with a grim post industrial wasteland and, through a certain lens, figuratively speaking, bits of it look a tad post apocalyse as well…

As it turns out, the reason CG Hatton was asking me to write a story, along with a group of other writers, was down to a not so figurative orange len, mounted on the camera of Ian Robinson a local Teesside artist, writer and photographer who CG had met last summer mutual acquaintance and Head-mistress/senior lecturer/dean/inspired, if questionably sane, arch-chancellor Lisa Lovebucket of The Post Apocalypse School of Teesside. (no I am not making any of this up)

The Post Apocalypse School of Teesside seeks to teach the youth of today how to survive the apocalypse of the future, with courses on making fires, throwing axes, foraging, making scrap journals, rudimentary crossbow design, cooking, generator repair, gas mask construction, water purification… And whatever else young adults need to survive the end of civilisation ( or Tuesday week as I like to think of it.)

Ian has a thing about urban decay and the apocalypse, and what happens when you use an orange filter. The results of which are frankly art. Beautifully disturbing art, but art none the less. CG suggested he take all his photos and make a coffee table art book out of them and then set about wrangling authors to write short pieces of poetry and story to go with Ian pictures. The result of which is just a thing of beauty that it is a pleasure to have been involved with….

And you know. it was fun to write a Lovecraft inspired walk down through a hell-scape version of the village I live to the famous transporter bridge in the company of ‘He who came out of Egypt.’ It was worrying how little I had to change however…

Ian’s art is inspired, as are the story by other writers. It is a little expensive, because its an art book with beautifully glossy pictures of the end of everything (or home as I call it) and you can find it on Amazon.

If you want to know more there is an interview with Ian HERE and you can follow both Ian Robinson and Archchancellor Lovebucket of The Post Apocalypse School of Teesside on twitter and else where.

Oh and in case your wondering about the importance of tin-openers, try being hungry to the point of near starvation, having nothing to eat but a tin of beans and no tin opener… There then is the importance of tin-openers, having one when you need one…