Yorkshire Professional Tea Duellists Union Rules

Being here in the rules for undertaking of Tea Duelling under the YPTDU rules for professional and semi profession divisions, short form, full rule book available upon request.

1/ Only Tetley, English breakfast, Yorkshire or a reasonable Earl Grey, with a dash of milk and one sugar may be used for competition purposes. On no account can green, herbal, or fruit teas be substituted. (supermarket own brand teas are allowable for training purposes but best avoided if superior brands are available.)

2/ A regulation tea cup of 150 ml or 5.2 uk fl oz must be used. For our cousins across the pond who wish to engage in gentlemanly entertainment that is 5.7 US fl oz.*. Bone China preferred but not stipulated.  Mugs may not be used except for training purposes, or for duels talking place on building sites.

3/ The correct way to hold a duelling cup must be observed in all competitions. This is stipulated as being with the handle, between the thumb, fore and index fingers, with the ring finger loose and the pinkie extend at right angels to the cup.

3i/ In order to further aid worldwide expansion of the sport however exceptions to this rule are allowed for Yakuza.  

4/ Biscuits should be rich tea,

  • 4b/ Other types and brands are available and may be used in a adhoc fashion by agreement of the event officiators provided all combatants use the same biscuits. Combatants may not bring their own biscuits, and biscuit tampering will be deal with ruthlessly.
  • 4b i/ hobnobs are now allowed but considered a tad poncy   
  • 4b ii/ chocolate digestives, bourbons, custard creams and all forms of ‘fancy’ biscuits are forbidden as they can ruin the consistency of the tea.
  • 4b iii/ no jaffa cakes, they are legally deemed to not be a biscuit for tax purposes, the YPTDU will be lead by HMRC in this regard.

5/ Biscuits shall be held in tea to a depth of one half their length for the minimum extent of the officiants count, normally three and must not exceed five, after which the combatants may chose to remove the biscuit at any time.  

6/ Subcommittee agreed rules for shin kicking.

  • 6i/ Any combatant may instigate a single shin kick in as given round. Said combatant may not kick again until their opponent has kicked back.
  • 6ii/ Gentlemen combatants may not kick the shins of a lady first.
  • 6iii/ Shinpads are acceptable for ladies, as are knee length boots. Gentlemen should wear brogues or oxford.
  • 6iv/ Pit workers boots are only allowed for pit workers in work vs worker teatime duels. Iron shod boots not allow, excepting prior agreement from all parties.
  • 6v/ Ladies with pointed toed boots are politely reminded to aim for the shins only.
  • 6vi/ All shin kick will cease for all remaining round on a declaration of ‘Sufficient’ by either party.          

*We have no idea why the Americans retained the Imperial system but failed to keep to the imperial standards. I mean why call it Imperial measurements if you’re just going to make up the numbers as you go along.  

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1 Response to Yorkshire Professional Tea Duellists Union Rules

  1. Pingback: Mandolins and the 0.2 percent | The Passing Place

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