Working a convention is exhausting. I am not alone in this. Almost every author I know has much the same story. Conventions are draining, much I suspect because writers tend not to be the kind of people who are naturally gregarious. We chose to hide our personalities in books, we chose to spend time staring at words in the never ending search for the perfect sentence and to enjoy the world from behind the visage of the observer. We watch, we speculate, we consider, and we imagine. Directly interacting with it is something else entirely.

Now when I say this I do not mean that writers are incapable of been perfectly normal functioning adults. Though that said they are writers so normal left on the first tide and sailed off long ago. However in day to day life, when they are just a person who is also a writer, they can function just fine. It is however in the moment they have to present as a writer that things go a little sideways.

A writer at a convention stands, or sits, behind a table and stares out into the void of

• ‘I used to read but I never get the time to any more’
• ‘I don’t really read books’
• ‘blank featureless stare follows by the smallest of nods and then wanders off’
• ‘I will engage you in conversation for several minutes, say the book looks interesting, then say I have no money and wonder off again’
• ‘I am a bored adult dealing with a child who is also bored and a significant other who is also bored and this have no interest in engaging with anyone on the off chance it would relieve my boredom’
• ‘I’m a Cos-play girl, in a cos-play world, I look fantastic, in mostly plastic’
• ‘Have you got a card or something,’ which may be ‘I don’t care but want to appear interested’ or ‘I read eBooks mainly, or just don’t want to carry heavy books about with me today…’
• can I buy these on amazon?’
• ‘Bert’

Of these only Bert is interested in anything you have to offer. Bert is a bit odd though, you worry about Bert. You worry about yourself because your talking to Bert, and you also worry that were the roles reverse you would be a Bert…

None of this is entirely true, there are plenty of lovely people who go to con’s. Most people in fact. The Cos-play girls are almost certainly lovely people as well, even the odd Dalek. I love cons and the people who go to them. but when I am working a table they can suck the life out of you with the sheer number of negative interactions. It is why I perfer to do them with people, like Kate, Ben or Gill. Two or more writers can keep each other going through the dark times between 12:30 and 2 when people are off having lunch and the same three cosplayers have wandered past for tenth time as dancing Deadpool’s with a smart speaker playing something atrocious, which is hilarious the first couple of times…

Working cons is a draining experience, working two in quick succession (Saturday and Sunday) even more so as you have to arrive early to set up and leave late to pack down, early mornings, long days, and the peopling…

I suspect my IRL boss for the day job was unsurprised to receive an text message on Sunday saying I was going to take Monday off.

On top of all this I gave out the very last of my pre-covid bookmarks half way through Saturday, and had none at all on Sunday. Given the ‘I only read ebooks, and/or can I get them on Amazon?, crowd are lovely people who I want to get my books that way not having bookmarks is a problem…

I had designed and order fabulous new book marks (see below), I order then weeks ago, they had not arrived in time for the two con’s. They arrived on Monday….

I may have sworn… a lot….

So anyway the advice for authors is this, do cons they are great. Take a Ukulele with you, and a silly hat. Smile a lot, even at the ones who aren’t going to give you a moment. Smile with the ones who waste your time a little. Smile at Bert, even if he worries you. Take a friend so your not suffering alone. Get plenty of sleep before hand, and allow your self down time afterwards

And importantly , order the bloody bookmarks at least a week earlier than you think is reasonable because they will arrive later then you think…