Third draft blues 

so you send off the second draft to your proof reader, get great feed back, a long list of notes on things to work on, have a good discussion on what needs to be changed , what could be better , where the writing could tighten up , where it needs expanding. The technical details of female masturbation techniques, ( don’t ask , just don’t okay, look i know you want to ask but don’t , okay since you asked my proof reader was sure i had it a little incorrect and so asked all her colleagues at work what they thought and got a consensus of opinion from them, apparently the one male employee walked in in the middle of this discussion and then turned around with a red face and walked out again)

you get all this down and sit back in front of the word processor and ……………………………………………

the hardest thing is to open the file and start to redraft again for the third time, its ripping apart something you have slaved over. Its only the third draft, but all the same its painful to tear back down the walls you have so lovingly crafted.

Its been siting in fount of me for about three weeks now while i procrastinate. in that time i have:
indexed and hyper-linked the chapters.
designed a book cover
watched seven and a half seasons of Dexter ( +http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0773262/ )
Played 500+ of stupid zombies on my kindle fire
come up with a new physical exercise regime
failed to keep to said regime
bought a painting
started a new memory wall
played with the cat
written a couple of blog posts
started two new face book games
searched or old friends on face book
read some books
put together a new bed
been to work
stared at the PC trying to motivate myself to start writing

I know once i get going on the next draft it will flow, I will stop feeling guilty about not getting on with it. And stop stressing over how to write the bits i need to change because i will be doing it .
But every time i open the document i feel a little ill at the thought of pressing the delete key and starting to type ……………

anyway , just to prove i have not completely wasted my time for the last month or so here is the book cover.

yes its an apple ,, I could go on about how its an un-bitten apple, the original forbidden fruit, unblemished , un-partaken of. That it speaks of temptation, sexuality and the end of innocence.

procrastination is bad  , I’ll get around to not procrastinating at some point .