The Electric Eel’s, or the more you know, the less is true

Electrophorus electricus, or to give it is none Latin name, the Electric Eel, is one of those things that keeps cropping up in pulp fiction’s. It’s what the harder up bond villain type puts in his shark tank, if he can’t afford sharks and doesn’t want to fork out the cost of piranha food.

Shark tanks, clearly the classy choice are of course ridiculous, as most sharks would not attack humans anyway, and you need a very big pool, just keeping them correctly chlorinated would be a challenge, and frankly you need a whole aquarium in which to keep then. But who doesn’t like a shark tank…

But if, as is likely, a shark tank aquarium with a suitably vicious type of shark is not possible, then of course a tank of Piranha’s is a perfectly good budget choice your for average villains lair. Except of course, most breeds of piranha actually prefer to eat fruit, and in fact all but one species of piranha are entirely harmless scavengers. Even if you do get the right kind of piranha (if your interested its the red bellied piranha) they seldom actually attack large animals or go into a feeding frenzy. You’d have to keep them nigh on starved most of the time and just hope the hero doesn’t turn up within twenty four hours of the last feeding time…

So, what do that level the melomaniac intent on world domination to chose for his principal defense against the interfering hero? Well a tank of electric eels would seem perfect, would it not. No issues keeping them on the edge of starvation so they will dispense with the hero. Just a big tank beneath a fall away floor with a fry of electric eels and your all good. (that’s the right collective noun btw, though a bed of eels or a swarm is equally acceptable, a fry just sounds right for a collection of electric eels don’t you think).

Also,, side note, the collective pro-noun for a group of Emu’s is ‘a mob’. As someone old enough to remember Rod Hull this sounds correct to me… But back to electric eels..

There is however, one discovers today, one slight problem with stocking for hero killing tank with electric eels. The first of which is unless your hero has a hereditary heart condition the chances of even multiple shocks killing them is limited to say the least. Usually deaths attributed to electric eels are actually drownings, as they can knock a person unconscious. But generally not your fit healthy hero type. Shocking they may be, but no more than the latest scandal involving the heir to the dutchy of Northumberland and the girl who works at Tesco’s…

Then of course there is the other problem, all be it a problem of semantics, you don’t actually get a fry of electric eel’s, or a swarm, or even a bed of them… Because electric eels are while very much a thing, not actually eels…

They are in fact a species of South American knifefish, breath air, are more closely related to cat fish than eels and don’t swarm…

In the end, as ever, the only correct way to deal with an annoying hero infiltrating your super villain lair is to shoot then in the head on sight, without it may be added, revealing your plans… And defiantly with no monologuing…

Todays blog was brought to you by ‘random stuff I found on the internet…’ You’re welcome…

Image may contain: text that says 'Animals with Misleading Names Electric Eel Mountain Goat Not an eel. Not goat. Maned Wolf King Cobra Not wolf. Not cobra. Also, shakes are typically self-governing. Peacock Mantis Shrimp Horny Toad Not 8 peacock. Not mantis. Also, not shrimp Not toad. Only thinks of you as friend Mayfly Eastern Kingbird Active through the spring and summer. Found in the West. Many birds do not retoqnise its authority,'

This entry was posted in amreading, amwriting, big questions, goodnews, goodreads, humour, indie writers, pointless things of wonderfulness, rant, reads, writes, writing and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

1 Response to The Electric Eel’s, or the more you know, the less is true

  1. andy says:

    I wonder how long and how many feet nibbling fish (garras) are needed for the same purpose?

    Liked by 1 person

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