There is something to be said for a low budget B movie that tried it best to rise above the constraints of budget, hockey writing, less than talented actors and more plot holes than plot to have holes in. Actually there is a lot to be said for such movies, most of it good and I’ll admit I have a particular fondness for them. Of course some are just plain dire and are redeemed only by the fact all involved know just how bad the movie is and embrace the whole thing.

Some are beyond even that redemption…

Recently I saw a trio of such movies and between them they manged to make a perfect set of ‘the good’ ‘the bad ‘ and the ‘yea gods why … no seriously why…’. The first of these is more or less the reason I am writing this blog post because on occasion the good B movie make it all worth while, but we will get to that one later , first lets start in the middle with this little gem of Welsh cinema…

Yes, you read that right, Welsh Cinema. It gets a misrable 2.2/10 on IMDB. Which seems a tad unfair as this is hardly Hollywood budgets we are working with here. Written and directed by the prolific Andrew Jones, it is for my mind exactly as good as the title suggests, and sure all the actors are Andrews mates. The special effects are neither special nor effective and the plot… Well… But it has heart and humour, and was clearly made with the joy of film making.

It also has the best lampshade based ‘joke’ you will ever see in cinema. It’s worth a watch just for that.

Now however lets turn to the ugly… or the ‘yea gods why’ as I put it earlier…

This Movie, which gets a respectable, and utterly undeserved 4/10 on IMDB. Some one clearly loves it, and the tag line in the trailer makes it seem better than its is ‘We’re gonna need a bigger house’…. Yet weirdly enough the first ten minutes is great, its almost as if the whole budget went into those ten minutes… Sadly it then goes straight down hill,

If you want a good B movie shark film watch sand sharks btw…

The reason I watched House Shark however was because an actresses in House Shark that had impressed me in another B movie, ‘The Good’ B movie of this trio that is worth a watch. Indeed she, Melissa LaMartina, was the lead in this little gem…

Now I know what your thinking, this whole blog about B movies has all being just a cheap ploy for mark to mention his non-fiction book on HP Lovecraft…

Well yes, okay I will admit the reason I became aware of this little gem is because I wrote a book on Lovecraft and, knowing my interest in both Lovecraft and B movies, my son sent me a link to it.

It turned out to be far better than he, or indeed I, expected. It gets a whole 4.6/10 on IMDB but frankly is house shark is a 4 then this is a solid 7. Ignore the occasionally ropy effects, and that some of the actors are a tad wooden. The writing, humour, and importantly the joy with which this movie was put together speaks of a love of the medium. It’s the kind of film made by people who love film. Sure the budget wasn’t the greatest, and the plot has some questionable elements. But the cast and crew clearly loved making this movie and that makes up for the flaws.

There is a wonderful movie makers sequence where call-girl of the title talks about her clients and there various kinks, all of which come back to bite them when she is later processed by the child of Cthulhu who has impregnated her in The Temple of the Golden Dawn (a nice little reference there)… and the same series of clients are killed off in order in ways that fit with their personal kinks…

There are lots of little, such as when the male lead is asked by his flatmate if he has any spare condoms about, as she is about to get feisty with her boyfriend, the camera cuts to the pack on his desk. ‘Deep Ones by Lovecraft’ …. The name’s of the various Johns in the sequence above and their various kinks are all subtle references to Lovecraft characters as well.. Such as the man called West who likes to play doctor… In fact the movie is littered with Lovecraft Easter eggs. the writers had a lot of fun with this and if you know a bit about old Tentacle Hugger’s fiction so will you, playing spot the reference. Some subtle, some not so much…

So yes, this is in part a blog written because I have a book about Lovecraft’s fiction out there in the world. But its also because of my love of B Movies and wish to share this little gem with your all…

A little blatant commercialism is a small price to pay for such joy, don’t you think…