Indie April#7: Magpies of Misanthropy

It’s Indie April, a celebration of all things Indie, be it novels, movies, music or art. The idea being to encourage interaction between indie creatives, and that most elusive of beasties the wider audience, and it is a time to celebrate all those wonderful indie creatives and their work.  As a writer, my focus (I know, I know, this bits always the same in these posts, look just skip down a paragraph why don’t you…) is on bringing indie writers to your attention. So for the rest of the month, I will be periodically featuring some of the best the independent scene has to offer. Some of these will be names familiar to those who read my blog, some will be new, but all of them are undoubtedly wonderful and deserving of a wider audience. So take the plunge and invest in some indie goodness, give an indie writer a try, I guarantee you’ll not regret it.

The Tales of Tantamount: Meredith Debonnaire

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Meredith Debonnaire is a young unrepentant bibliobibuli who claims to be in training to be a hermit, and sometimes vanish for a long long time into the depths of her brain and only emerge months later, possibly wiser and in need of hot chocolate. With a degree of self-knowledge, few ever attain, she has been known to claim ‘There is an 80% chance that I am talking total bollocks, but I’m afraid I can’t say for certain.’  But if this is the case it is bizarre bouncy fizzy frivolously fascinating bollocks (this sentence may have gotten away from me, but let’s not dwell on it). If she is sane, only the magpies know, and they are intransigent in the telling of their secrets…

Tales from Tantamount is, well, somewhat eclectic. It is many things and can be read as many things. It is easier to say what it is not, what it is not is the corpse of an idiosyncratic French poet reanimated by Salvador Dali then forced to recite the history of a town in verse while constructing a 1/1 scale model of Stonehenge on the southern coast of Playa Traviata on a wet weekend in July… Tales from Tantamount is definitely not that, for a start, the poet isn’t French… What it actually is is a bunch of fictional snippets from a year in the life of an odd little town somewhere never the river Seven, where Historian is a somewhat more exciting if generally short-lived profession, on account of history in the town been a tad fluid, particularly on Wednesdays. As it should be added is some of the architecture. You can, so Meredith informs us, find out more at the Tantamount public Library, which is probably at the bottom of the high street today, but we can not say for certain, it is the year of the sad plastic bag after all… Just don’t head down there between 2:15 and 2:35 as that’s when the Carrion is due, and it’s best not to be on the streets at that point…

You can find out more about the history of a small town near the river Seven that never was, and the dark secrets that lay in wait in its carrion haunted streets at https://meredithdebonnaire.wordpress.com/ and soon, or so the magpies tell me, in a rare moment of forthcoming, be a collected and expanded Tales of Tantamount in paperback, with lost of extra stuff even some art by Tom Brown of Hopeless Maine fame, because strange towns on the edge of reality tend to cling together, or possibly fight wars of poetic fury, its hard to be sure. But I for one and looking forward to it. (I’m a fan in case this post was not a clue)

Meredith also has a novella out there in the world called ‘The Life and Times of Angel Evens’  I have not read this due to the problem with the earth’s rotational speed influencing the day-night cycle in limitation of the number of hours in the day. Because it sounds interesting and I want to, so at some point, I will.

This is normally where I do the earlier posts bit, but there ain’t any, so instead here is a public warning notice form Tantamount Town council, there may be a link to further things connected to it, I dare you to click on it… Go on just click on it, you know you want to…

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Aside from her own novels, and weirdness, Meredith’s blog is also followed by at least two of the writers in the  Harvey Duckman Presents Anthologies. Which is the most tenuous link yet but it remains just waiting for you to read, though the first print run has sold out rather quickly, so it’s now paperbacks are only available on POD … There may not be the secrets of magpies within its pages but there are 14 other Indie writers of SciFi, Fantasy, Steampunk and Horror within its folds, so you could do worse than get yourself a copy, so click on the lovely picture below 🙂  More indie April shots coming soon with Tom & Nimue Brown the creators of another odd place on the edge of imagination, Hopeless Maine…

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Disclaimer: normal service will resume shortly when I stop trying to channel Meridieth Debonnaire’s own brand of sanity and return to writing these from my own. Besides, frankly, she is better at writing like herself than I am, odd that.

Additional:  Meredith is now releasing the complete Tales from Tantamount in an ink and paper format popular in libraries and retailers of such things. It not released yet, but details will follow when it is no doubt as I intend to buy one at the first opportunity to do so.  While it is still being compiled, edited and in possibly written in some respects, there is a cover by the endlessly talented Tom Brown of Hopeless Maine fame. So until I can put a link up for the book itself, here’s a peek at the cover… try not to dribble when you behold it…

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Additional additional…

Tales From Tantamount has now been released, so there is a free preview available and the Amazon link here as well… enjoy.

 

 

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Indie April#6: Boston Metaphysics

It’s Indie April, a celebration of all things Indie, be it novels, movies, music or art. The idea being to encourage interaction between indie creatives, and that most elusive of beasties the wider audience, and it is a time to celebrate all those wonderful indie creatives and their work.  As a writer, my focus (yes, okay, I know, but I have to write this bit…) is on bringing indie writers to your attention. So for the rest of the month, I will be periodically featuring some of the best the independent scene has to offer. Some of these will be names familiar to those who read my blog, some will be new, but all of them are undoubtedly wonderful and deserving of a wider audience. So take the plunge and invest in some indie goodness, give an indie writer a try, I guarantee you’ll not regret it.

The Boston Metaphysical Society: Madeleine Holly-Rosing

boston meta

A TV, feature film and comic book writer, Madeleine is the winner of the Sloan Fellowship for screenwriting, and the Gold Aurora and Bronze Telly for a PSA produced by Women In Film. She also won numerous awards while completing the UCLA MFA Program in Screenwriting. Having run a number of successful crowdfunding campaigns for her comic, Boston Metaphysical Society, Madeleine now teaches a crowdfunding class for independent creators at Pulp Fiction Books in Culver City as well as guest lecturing at Scriptwriters Network and Dreamworks. She also finds time to actually write books…

Great Houses jockey for power, treachery, subterfuge, and demonic threats.  In an alternate-history Boston of 1890. Madeleine’s is a world of steam power, airships, mixed with ghostly goings-on, preta-natural powers and class struggles. Boston is a city divided by wealth and privilege. Great houses rule like feudal lords of old while their vassal’s shelter beneath their banners, while on the south side of the city those without the protection of house live lives of coal soot squaller. (confession time, I am only about a third of the way through A Storm of Secrets as I write this, and need to get this blog out because I have a list of others I need to do before the end of the month… It is, however, a wonderfully engrossing read.) Madeleines world is vivid, and fully realised, the way any tale set in an alternative history should be, merging real history with the possibilities of another path which could have been taken. Drawing on the comic’s, this first novel has a depth to it that, along with the superb writing, makes it easy to slide between the pages, and wonder at a Boston that never was…

You can find out more about the history of a Boston that never was, and the dark secrets that lay in wait in its fog-bound streets at http://bostonmetaphysicalsociety.com/  and you can, of course, find Madeleine’s books and graphic novels on Amazon and elsewhere, including her guide to creators using Kickstarter, on which she is something of an expert, if not indeed the queen.

Earlier posts…

Aside from her own novels, Madeleine also has liked at least half a dozen of my posts about the Harvey Duckman Presents Anthologies. on facebook and twitter. Which is a tenuous link even by my standards but it remains just waiting for you to read, though the first print run has sold out rather quickly, so it’s now paperbacks are only available on POD … Madeleine may not have a story in there but a couple of writers of Steampunkery and 12 other Indie writers of SciFi, Fantasy, and Horror do, so you could do worse than get yourself a copy, so click on the lovely picture below 🙂  More indie April shots coming soon with Meridieth Debonnaire the creator of the utterly awesome Tales from Tandamount, who is also not in Harvey Duckman, but only because the Magpies stopped her I suspect…

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FREE novella

I’m giving away my novella/mini-anthology A Scar of Avarice this week on kindle
So if you like satirical steampunk, alternative histories, sci-fi, horror or just a damn fine read, grab a FREE copy while you can before it goes back to full price
#steampunk #sciencefiction

or for those beyond the bounds of Her Glorious majesties realm…

Posted in amreading, books, Canadian steampunk, fiction, Hannibal Smyth, indie, indie novels, IndieApril, indiewriter, novels, Passing Place, pointless things of wonderfulness, reads, sci-fi, steampunk | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Indie April#5: Of a man and his rat

It’s Indie April, a celebration of all things Indie, be it novels, movies, music or art. The idea being to encourage interaction between indie creatives, and that most elusive of beasties the wider audience, and it is a time to celebrate all those wonderful indie creatives and their work.  As a writer, my focus (yes I know you have read this bit before…) is on bringing indie writers to your attention. So for the rest of the month, I will be periodically featuring some of the best the independent scene has to offer. Some of these will be names familiar to those who read my blog, some will be new, but all of them are undoubtedly wonderful and deserving of a wider audience. So take the plunge and invest in some indie goodness, give an indie writer a try, I guarantee you’ll not regret it.

The Brennan and Rix Stories by Peter James Martin

brenan and rix

Peter James Martin is Teesside born and bred. An aficionado of the weird and wonderful folklore and tales of the northeast and he weaves this into his tales of a supernatural detective and his partner, who happens to be a rat. When not writing, he is busy trying to survive the rigours of raising two boys and a new baby girl and two Shih Tzu dogs and a cat.

Who does not love a sarcastic rodent? Well okay, maybe I am on my own there but I grew up with Roland Rat on the TV so its part of my DNA… Add to that list poor long-suffering Brennan who has to put up with Rix baiting him at every opportunity. These stories (collected into one volume) are an insight into the strange and the wonderful, drawing heavily on local folklore, a sense of place, and a feel for melding the real and the surreal this is a delightful read. Think Harry Dresden, Jim Butchers much put upon Chicago Magician, transplanted to the side of the river Tees, struggling to scratch a living while others seem to do well off his back, not least Rix, who has the personality, manners and on occasion eating habits of a…. well a rat, clearly. It’s fun, it’s not as silly as you might imagine, it’s haunting and on occasion a lot deeper than you may expect. It’s a dark world out there, particularly when there is a goblin problem in the sewers below Stockton High Street…

You can find out more about the folklore which lies behind the stories of Brennan and his rat at https://tstpjm.blogspot.com/ and other news as well, also you can, of course, find Peters books on Amazon and elsewhere, now, care how you go, there be beasties about, and I ain’t talking about Rix…

Earlier posts on Peters novels …

Aside from his own novels, Peter also has a short Brennan and Rix story in the Harvey Duckman Presents Anthologies. Which by no coincidence what so ever was released last weekend… Just waiting for you to read, so if you fancy a taster of both Kate’s work and 13 other Indie writers of SciFi, Fantasy, Steampunk and Horror, you could do worse than get yourself a copy, so click on the lovely picture below 🙂  More indie later in the week next up Madeleine Holly-Rosing the kickstart queen of American Steampunk wonders (who also is not in Harvey Duckman, so I may not mention it at all, I said may…)

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Indie April#4: Riftmaker

It’s Indie April, a celebration of all things Indie, be it novels, movies, music or art. The idea being to encourage interaction between indie creatives, and that most elusive of beasties the wider audience, and it is a time to celebrate all those wonderful indie creatives and their work.  As a writer, my focus (this will come as little surprise) is on bringing indie writers to your attention. So for the rest of the month, I will be periodically featuring some of the best the independent scene has to offer. Some of these will be names familiar to those who have read my blog before, some will be new, but all of them are undoubtedly wonderful and deserving of a wider audience. So take the plunge and invest in some indie goodness, give an indie writer a try, I guarantee you’ll not regret it.

Riftmaker and other novels by Pheobe Darqueling

pheobe

Pheobe Darqueling became interested in Steampunk back in 2009, which rekindled her long-dormant love of writing fiction. She started her first blog on Steampunk in 2012, but in 2017, she left it to become the second editor for SteampunkJournal.org, the world’s most popular Steampunk news site. Aside from writing novels, and editing anthologies, she is busy becoming the Queen of all things Steampunkery across the internet.

When I read her first Novel, Riftmaker, I was both surprised and delighted by the width and scale of her ambition. A strange world linked somehow to ours by rifts, yet when humans pass through they take on the forms of animals. While animals take on the forms of humans. In the hands of a less talented writer, this could have been a recipe for confusion, but Pheobe has the craft and style to match such ambition. A plethora of characters and complexity of sub-plots interweave like many strands of a web to create a novel rich in depth and broad in scope. A novel full of wild idea’s, strange sights and odd characters all with their own hope and dreams. Yet Pheobe never gets you lost, even at the heart of her miraculous clockwork city… Her next novel, No Rest for the Wicked is out now too.

You can find out more about the what lies at the court of the Queen of all things Steampunkery at her blog https://phoebedarqueling.com/home/ and you can, of course, find her books on Amazon and elsewhere, and at steampunk gatherings from the USA to Germany…

Earlier posts on Pheobe’s novels …

Aside from her own novels, Pheobe also…  Actually, I jest… Unlike the first three Indie Authors I have featured this week she doesn’t have a short story in the Harvey Duckman Presents Anthologies. Which by no coincidence what so ever was released last weekend…  Just waiting for you to read… Pheobe may not have a story in there but a couple of writers of Steampunkery and 12 other Indie writers of SciFi, Fantasy, and Horror do, so you could do worse than get yourself a copy, so click on the lovely picture below 🙂  More indie later in the week Peter James Martin the creator of the Brennan and Rix tales, of a man and his talking rat (who may be in Harvey D, but that would be telling …)

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Indie April#3: SimCaviler

It’s Indie April, a celebration of all things Indie, be it novels, movies, music or art. The idea being to encourage interaction between indie creatives, and that most elusive of beasties the wider audience, and it is a time to celebrate all those wonderful indie creatives and their work.  As a writer, my focus (this will come as little surprise) is on bringing indie writers to your attention. So for the rest of the month, I will be periodically featuring some of the best the independent scene has to offer. Some of these will be names familiar to those who have read my blog before, some will be new, but all of them are undoubtedly wonderful and deserving of a wider audience. So take the plunge and invest in some indie goodness, give an indie writer a try, I guarantee you’ll not regret it.

The SimCaviler Novels of Kate Baucherel

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A sci fi fan since first seeing the Daleks from behind the sofa, Kate Baucherel has worked in and around tech enterprises since before the world wide web was invented, and is fascinated by the rapid change in our world, the huge potential of emerging technologies, and the challenges we’ll face. This passion comes through in delivering day to day digital strategy for businesses and in writing cybercrime fiction.

The future is a strange place, both familiar and not in equal measure. When it comes to authors predicting the world of tomorrow who is better qualified than an expert on emerging technologies. If you want to know what the world will be like in twenty years time you could do a lot worse than to ask Kate or read her Sim Caviler novels. Elegantly paced thrillers that hang heavy on the worlds of cybercrime and cybercrime fighters. All set just a couple or three decades from now. A world with a shiny bright veneer, but dark undertones. In a world where cryptocurrency is king and hackers fight wars of the keyboard. All this made all the more believable because this world of tomorrow is based on the technology that’s coming oh so soon, with characters that feel and sound real, because the world they inhabit is, we just haven’t arrived there yet, but we will…

You can find out more about the endlessly fascinating real world of emerging technology as well as Kates fiction at http://galiadigital.co.uk and you can, of course, find her books on Amazon and elsewhere, and emerging Tech conferences around the world…

Earlier posts on Kates novels …

Aside from her own novels, Kate also has a SimCavilier short story in the Harvey Duckman Presents Anthologies. Which by sheer coincidence (stretching with each post I will admit) was released last weekend…  Just waiting for you to read, so if you fancy a taster of both Kate’s work and 13 other Indie writers of SciFi, Fantasy, Steampunk and Horror, you could do worse than get yourself a copy, so click on the lovely picture below 🙂  More indie later in the week next up Pheobe Darqueling the writer of the fabulous Riftmaker novels and queen of all things Steampunk (who is not in Harvey Duckman, so there 🙂 )

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Indie April #2: The Adventures of Alan Shaw

It’s Indie April, a celebration of all things Indie, be it novels, movies, music or art. The idea being to encourage interaction between indie creatives, and that most elusive of beasties the wider audience, and it is a time to celebrate all those wonderful indie creatives and their work.  As a writer, my focus (this will come as little surprise) is on bringing indie writers to your attention. So for the rest of the month, I will be periodically featuring some of the best the independent scene has to offer. Some of these will be names familiar to those who have read my blog before, some will be new, but all of them are undoubtedly wonderful and deserving of a wider audience. So take the plunge and invest in some indie goodness, give an indie writer a try, I guarantee you’ll not regret it.

The Alan Shaw Novels of Craig Hallam

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Craig Hallam is an author whose works span all corners of Fantasy, Sci-fi and Horror.

Since his debut in the British Fantasy Society journal in 2008, his tales have nestled twixt the pages of magazines and anthologies the world over. His Gothic Fantasy novel, Greaveburn, Steampunk trilogy, The Adventures of Alan Shaw, and the dark short stories of Not Before Bed have filled the imaginations of geeks, niche and alternative readers with their character-driven style and unusual plots

Like the Thieves guilds novels previously I have reviewed a couple of Craig’s novels on this blog previously, and again it’s safe to say I’m a fan. His favoured Tag line of ‘Embrace the wierd’ sums up his wild and wonderful imagination. His Alan Shaw novels chronicle the journey from an adolescence on the streets of London in a world just starting to see the delights of a Steampunk universe come into being to the life and times of an adventurer making his living while walking the line between black and white moralities, with the occasional slip into the grey. Written in the tradition of tales that featured in the likes of The Strand Magazine, each episode takes Alan further into the grey area’s as he faces mechanical squid submarines, daring robbers on bat wings, the occasional arch daemon, and all the weird and wonderful dangers of a past that never was.

You can find out more at https://craighallam.wordpress.com/ and find his books on Amazon and just about everywhere else. Not to mention at any steampunk convention within a hundred miles of Doncaster where Craig happily gives talks and meets his ever-growing army of fans 

Earlier reviews of Craig Hallam’s novels …

You can also support the excellent Mr Hallam on Patron by following this link, in that grand tradition of artist patronage that seems so right for a gentleman who engages in Steampunkery. There you will find all kinds of interesting stuff, so take a look see.

Aside from his own novels, Craig also has an Alan Shaw story in the Harvey Duckman Presents Anthologies. Which by sheer coincidence (as I may have mentioned) was released last weekend…  Just waiting for you to read, so if you fancy a taster of both Craig’s work and 13 other Indie writers of SciFi, Fantasy, Steampunk and Horror, you could do worse than get yourself a copy, so click on the lovely picture below 🙂  More indie later in the week with Kate Baucherel the writer of the fabulous SimCaviler novels among other things…

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Indie April#1: Thieves Guild

It’s Indie April, a celebration of all things Indie, be it novels, movies, music or art. The idea being to encourage interaction between indie creatives, and that most elusive of beasties the wider audience, and it is a time to celebrate all those wonderful indie creatives and their work.  As a writer, my focus (this will come as little surprise) is on bringing indie writers to your attention. So for the rest of the month, I will be periodically featuring some of the best the independent scene has to offer. Some of these will be names familiar to those who have read my blog before, some will be new, but all of them are undoubtedly wonderful and deserving of a wider audience. So take the plunge and invest in some indie goodness, give an indie writer a try, I guarantee you’ll not regret it.

The Thieves guild novels of C G Hatton

thieves guild

C G Hatton is a writer and editor based in the North of England, with a PhD in geology and a background in journalism.  She has written and published five books in the main Thieves’ Guild military sci-fi/thriller series, the first two books in a YA series set in the Thieves’ Guild universe, and edited the Harvey Duckman Presents anthologies. She is currently working on the sixth Thieves Guild novel, among many other things.

I have reviewed the Thieves guilds novels before on this blog, it’s safe to say I’m a fan. Actually, that’s entirely an understatement, they are wonderful, fast-paced, action orientated rollercoaster rides that never fail to disappoint.

The tag line ‘No one messes with the Thieves Guild’ is apt for the shadowy galaxy-spanning organisation at the heart of these novels, but god knows plenty of people try. C G’s characters come to life on the page and you cheer them on, cry for them, rage with them, fear for them and on occasion want to share a drink with them. If only to tell them it will all be fine and work out in the end. Though I suspect they won’t believe you if you do. that rollercoaster of action is never short of unexpected twists and turns, and the odd crash or three, oh and don’t mention the invasion of the galaxy burning alien horde…

I said don’t mention the Alien invasion…

You can find out more at https://cghatton.com/ and find her books on Amazon and just about everywhere else. Oh and the first of the novels is free on Kindle, so if you like your books in bites what have you got to lose…

Earlier reviews of C.G.Hattons novels …

 

Aside from her own novels, C G is also the edition at large for the Harvey Duckman Presents Anthologies. Which by sheer coincidence was release last weekend…  And in Volume 1 there is a new Thieves Guild short story just waiting for you to read, so if you fancy a taster of both C G’s work and 13 other Indie writers of SciFi, Fantasy, Steampunk and Horror, you could do worse than get yourself a copy, so click on the lovely picture below 🙂  More indie later in the week with Craig Hallam the writer of the fabulous Alan Shaw novels among other things…

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Delving through notebooks…

I don’t do poetry…

In a rush on the way out to the day job, I grabbed a random notebook form my pile of half-used notebooks, knowing I needed one for work. It wasn’t until I was sat at my desk, on a conference call and needed to take a few quick notes I realised the notebook in question was about 7 years old and had notes in it form back when I was originally plotting and planning Passing Place. It was a little treasure trove of oddity in fact and a glimpse back in time to what was passing through my mind at the time.

Among other things, it had the original chapter plan, with some of the original chapter titles, not many of which made the final cut, and almost none of them in the same order as they appear in that list. A few characters sketches of characters that don’t exist in the final novel. Little outlines of short stories that make up barroom tales in the novel, most of which changed, were cut or became something else entirely. A couple of quotes I wrote down, all of which come from Rumblefish an old Mickey Roake movie form the mid 80’s, back when he seemed like he would be the next James Dean and made movies that had real substance to them:

‘If your going to lead people, you need somewhere to lead them to’

‘If the fish were in the river they would not fight’

No, I don’t know why I wrote those particular quotes down either…

There are notes for a story called ‘Bull Dancer’ of which beyond these scattered notes I have no recollection of what I intended to write. There is an original outline for what became the Inuit saga I wrote in the middle of Passing Place because every good novel needs an Inuit saga in it… There is a brief bit of dialogue between the Piano player and the cat that I scratched down, which is in the novel but not entirely intact, the original scrawling reads:

           Girl crying in the corridor at night             

It’s just a dream”

   “I suppose I better wake up then”

          “Wouldn’t help”

                    “Why?”

                         “I never said it was your dream.”

There are strange things as well, things that make no sense, which I have no point of reference for and not the slightest clue what they mean…

does not stomp the woman with green eyes, stomps himself instead…

Really not a clue what was going on there, who the woman with the green eyes might be and how anyone can stomp themselves?

The point is, notebooks are a great resource for a writer, even when we don’t always remember why we wrote what we wrote, or what the hell we wrote it for in the first place. Even when we wonder just how drunk we when we wrote about a woman with green eyes… And occasionally delving into old notebooks is a strangely wonderful thing to be doing. I would advise anyone who wants to be a writer to keep all their old notebooks, you can find the stranges of thing in them, and occasionally the gem you forgot about, like ‘The Bull Dancer’ which if I go through the notes again may actually appear in ‘Something Red’ as I suspect I have a couple of pages on a hard drive somewhere that I started.

So keep your notebooks, and read them on occasion, you never know what you will find. As I said in the beginning, I don’t do poetry, yets I found some poetry I wrote down years ago… In this case, a poem that first created one of Passing Places most well-loved characters the Greyman who mops the floors and tells his own strange tale about where he came from.

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As I said, I don’t do poetry, and I promise I’ll probably never do any again. But readers of Passing Place will recognise Greyman’s tale from this piece, and I like this one little poem I wrote in a moment of weakness and delving through old notebooks…

 

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To be brave is to fear…

I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration ~ Frank Herbert

That little quote from Dune is one of my favourites, and I have on occasion repeated to myself when I faced a hurdle or two along the way in life. Because that’s often what I do when I face something that feels for a moment or two overwhelming or for more than a moment or two. For a day, or a week, or months on end. I find solace and inspiration in those most loyal of friends, books and their authors. It’s astounding how a well-placed quote drawn from the depths of my memory can change my perspective or push me to get past that wall of self-doubt.

“Courage is being scared to death, but saddling up anyway.” ~ John Wayne

I’ve talked a lot about self-doubt, in the last few weeks. I’ve also had a couple of conversations about it which made me dwell on the subject a while. My own bouts of self-doubt and there are many, are buried behind masks of self-confidence I don’t feel and abiding cynicism I don’t really have, which I present to the world as the personality I want them to believe in. Because I always feel that the moment I let anyone see how utterly terrified I feel at that moment then the whole house of cards will collapse in under its own weight leaving me bare to the world.

“Don’t be afraid of your fears. They’re not there to scare you. They’re there to let you know that something is worth it.” ~ C. JoyBell C.

The bravest people I know, are those who are most afraid. They are also the most inspiring, and if I were better at expressing myself at times, I would tell them so at the moment they perhaps need to hear it the most. But without a keyboard in front of me, I am on occasion, not the best at choosing the right words to say. Masks of self-confidence, masks of cynicism, masks that some perceive as arrogance, masks of joviality, masks that keep me unapproachable because it’s safer that way. So many bloody masks at times I forget who I am.

  “There is a great difference between being fearless and being brave.” ~ Patrick Rothfuss, The Name of the Wind

So here is the thing, a few years ago now I wrote a book. Its nothing like any of my other books, but it was the first book I wrote. I wrote it from scratch in a little over five weeks, and a year later, after much editing and much self-doubt, I published it. That, I will admit, is a story oft told by me. The story I don’t tell is the reason I wrote it. I wrote it because one of the bravest people I know told me to do so. She did that in a conversation I would be utterly amazed if she remembers. But a five-minute conversation in a market place with a stranger and one thing she said to me made me write my first novel.

Just write it, don’t be afraid of doing so, it just write it, and finish a first draft, and see where you go from there  ~ The author in the marketplace

So I did… The moral of this all, well there isn’t a moral to be true, it is simply an observation. I faced a fear I would have told everyone I didn’t have but knew behind my masks was there. The fear of finish a novel and discovering after all the years spent writing but never finishing anything were because I was, as I feared deep down, incapable of writing anything worthwhile or worth reading. I did that because one of the bravest people I know told me to ‘Just do it’ despite not knowing me at all at the time. I conquered my fear, well, one of them.

I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration ~ Frank Herbert

And so I am back to Frank, dear Frank, and that quote I love. I love it, but I know its balderdash, fear is not the mind killer, fear is not the little-death that brings oblivion and balls to anyone who tells you not to fear. Fear is a superpower. Fear is that thing you face and beat each day. Because the bravest I know, are those who live with self-doubt, who feel overwhelmed at times, struggle with fear and face it all the same. The one who feels it, face it and push through anyway. They are the brave, they are inspirational, they are the reason books get written.

“Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.” ~ Oscar Wilde

In short, such people are heroes, so I thought I would take a moment, tell them so. From behind a keyboard naturally, because I am much better at expressing the important things when I type… And my hero, when it comes to being a novelist, well it’s the author in the marketplace. Because without her inspiring me to write that first novel, I doubt I would have ever done so. So to my friend, the author in the marketplace, I offer one final quote, from another awesome woman, one final quote and a piece of advice worth taking.

stay affraid

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